Russians, Star Wars, and Space Invadors… Really?
Indiana Jones and the Quest for Aliens That Live in the Space Between Dimensions.
Alright, I realize that this blog hasn’t posted any other movie critiques, but this movie was so bad that I need someplace to place my frustration into words so you all don’t waste your hard earned dollars and your precious time on such an utter disaster.
This movie without a doubt ruins the legacy of Indiana Jones. This movie can best be described in three ridiculous parts with many problems in each part. To begin:
Old School Indiana Jones with new school ridiculous plot line:
Indiana Jones and his captors ride up to Area 51 the Sci-Fi fantasy land with everything of true worth and never ending secrets is guarded by two guards? Really, they go there with a whole convoy of troops and only have to replace TWO GUYS what genius thought of this. The action sequence is rustic Indiana Jones, excellent overall but the plot kills it as it continues from a whopping two guards to him throwing barely magnetic gun powder into the air and having it fly across what looks to be a hundred acre warehouse. I think George Lucas might have fallen, knocked himself out, ended up dreaming about unicorns and rainbows and decided he wanted pixie dust flying in the air but opted for floating gun powder to keep with the “theme.” This continues on to a kid named Mutt a big bad ass with a comb that brings a “knife to a gun fight” and even using other movie references doesn’t help this overcome its total lack of substance and overwhelming flaws. Lets move forward though, onto part 2 of 3.
Old School Star Wars all over again:
The videography is directly from Stars Wars Episode 4, 5, and 6, most notable the car chasing scene through the jungle where it looks identical to the Star Wars scene where they are on the speed bikes with the fun loving Wookies around. I realize this is a Spielberg/Lucas film but really? Did they have to go back to the 70’s/80’s cinema class to get this movie going. Also, they end up getting stuck in sand pit, def reminiscent of the muck pit in front of Yoda’s grand residence and of course the fight scene has the older Harrison Ford jumping from car to car just like Luke Skywalker. I think they could have done better and not killed the plot, though for a good laugh you can reminisce about better Indiana Jones movies as Jones is pulled out of the with a snake being used as a rope and him not wanting to grab it. Ridiculous, that’s what the middle of the movie is and we having even gotten to the worst part.
Close Encounters of te Third Kind:
Anyone remember that movie? Aliens and stuff in flying saucers, yeah, thats in this movie. I mean why not, old school Indiana Jones is slaughtered in the first third, Star Wars videotography and plot is recycled in the second part, why not throw in some random alien skulls to finish it off. They are able to bring the skull into a sealed room where the person that took the first skull didn’t touch the other 12 and was able to seal off the room from the outside…. really? Are you serious… crazed tribesman in the middle of a crater in a mountain, with one temple, no other structures, and a locked vault. Logic would say that if you could take one and get out you would take more, also how can it be possible for them to reseal it? Moving on to the fact that it took all 13 of the crystal figures to form a being that looked like ET? Spielberg… you losing your touch or did Lucas suck out your creativity by creating such a destructive plot line to an otherwise good series of movies. This movie and its aliens which by the way aren’t from another planet, they live in the space between dimensions, so that way they are not inter dimensional (you know transition from one to another for a home) they really just take up some space between them. Also the great treasuse, bet you want to know how amazing it is, it is the gift of knowledge, which if bestowed on a human overwhelms them, so of course the bad guy decides he wants their knowledge and so overwhelmed from the education that he painfully dies, bad acting and all.. who’s dropping out of college before they die from being over educated… again, really?
In the end this movie is a waste of time that is a collection of movies with a twisted worthless incoherent, unexplainable, non-logical, unsastisfying, plot line that makes me wish movies were never invented. I’m thankful there are decent movies out there and I do mean decent, not classics or favorites of mine, because it would only take a half way, barely decent chick flick to top the plot and execution of this disastor.
If you enjoy it, I’m not sorry, I just know that the rest of the world including myself shouldn’t ever trust your taste in movies…
My rating 0.1 stars out of 5 (it gets 0.1 for the fact that they watched this and had the audacity to release it, that takes true idiocy to release something as bad as this and well they might as well get little credit for their strength… stupidity)
Life’s a rolling
AmbiguicCoherence
Well, it might look like we’ve become inactive- I can assure you that we’re not. MountSpyder and I have been really busy doing that work aspect in our lives. I’ve got a few long posts sitting in the draft queue just begging me to finish them. But for updates on what we’ve been looking at and the posts I should have written in the last month – this is what I would have talked about:
Windows 7 is still on the down-low, but as far as posted updates on the underground I’d have to summarize and say a little bit of linux, a little bit of the XP aura, and a little bit of the Microsoft Surface gui. And yes, Vista is still crap.
Intel’s atom processor is making headway to new personal media devices and shrunken laptops – looks good because there is competition and we all know competition fuels better technology.
Verizon put out an IT investigative report in the last few weeks – gives a little better insight on the misconceptions of hacker attacks and how people need to be less scared. “If you aren’t running a credit server, your personal files aren’t of interest.” And “Antiviruses can only handle old definition viruses. These newer real application malware programs are overlooked – and they are what’s really annoying people and cause the problems”.
The MountSpyder and I are going to start brewing our own beer.
Bot nets are still in existance, the spreads usually grow upon holidays; which is when most people click on all those email type cards. Malware applications tied into them like the storm worm or the multi-application, multi-protocal chaos trojan which I’ve been tracking for the last two years are both still around. Which brings me to another topic: I haven’t had the chance to roll out my latest updates on MY antivirus program.
Windows XP Service Pack 3 was released and rereleased all damaged – Office 2007 compatibility packs deleted My Documents folders which contain Office 2003 files – oops? Yea, could have been a two page article.
We’ve got another author for the blog, who can’t think of a handle for himself. But his posts will aliven our linux side.
The world faces a real inter-network problem in the next year. The bandwidth drain is probably going to kill the whole thing. Which then means an internet-3 line will have to be created so the rest of us can overtake the internet-2. A quick link to what I’m talking about.
I’m in the middle of building a cluster at work to do finite element calculations – but the software we need it for limits us to Suse 10.0 : which isn’t bad in itself, but it being old forces an on going search for the old repositories that I need to compile the software. So if anyone has any ideas, I’d love them to be thrown my way. And this link is why I have no problem using Suse.
Apple is still in the dumps about security issues with leopard- ever since the quicktime vulnerabilities were released on the net, it’s all been a wild downwards spiral. A little info to back me up here. And it’s also confirmed by my Pwn2Own post.
We’ll see what comes next. Hopefully we’ll find some time in our schedules.
